Thursday, January 19, 2017 by Jake Hahn | The Authentic Musician
When we create a piece of art - we're typically all alone with our thoughts and feelings - and when it comes time to share that art with the world, we instinctually become timid and full of fear at the thought of the world seeing something that we created in the intimacy of our own mind.
We ask ourselves if it's "good enough" or if it's "worthy" of standing along side the artists that we know and love - who we feel have created some of the "best" songs out there.
Those thoughts alone are a large part of the problem.
We sit and nervously ponder if others will "like" it. Hell, the "like button" seems to have become a staple of our collective - as well as individual -self-worth.
"300 likes, and 217 comments! Awesome! I MUST be good then! They like me! They REALLY like me!"
We gauge ourselves and our creations by the approval of strangers. We give them the power, and in doing so, causes us to cower away into the dark corners - hiding our art - hiding ourselves.
We let those strangers decide whether or not we are good enough. We let those strangers dictate what we do. We let those strangers control us.
(here's a quick video with some tips on how to find your own musical expression)
A few quick thoughts on: The Fear of Sharing Yourself and/or Your Music With Others.
This is by no means an exhaustive and "complete" explanation, because this is a vast topic with many, many variables at play.
This post is based on what I consider to be one of the core elements...
Solid self-esteem is the ultimate level of confidence, because with solid self-esteem, your identity is self-generated. It’s not based on what others think of you. It is about upholding your own internal code.
When you tie your identity to living up to your own standards, the only person who can harm your identity is you. Which means you’re safe everywhere, no matter who is watching.
That’s how some people know how to be confident all the time. Because their identity is never at stake. As long as they live up to their own standards, no public humiliation, rejection, or awkwardness can harm who they are.
What are the standards that high self-esteem individuals tend to have? There are many, but the core usually includes:
• I try my best
• I express myself fully
• I take responsibility for my own happiness
• I do what’s right, not what's easy
As long as your identity is “People like me” or “People look up to me” or “I am cool,” you are at the mercy of strangers’ opinions. It’s a terrible way to live. Identify with this: “I try my best to do what is right by my internal code.”
How do you know what’s right? It’s pretty simple.
• Do what scares you
• Do your best
As long as you live with and by your personal core values...you are safe.
PS - I obviously can't offer all the answers to fix this issue here (I'll never have ALL the answers), it's vast, and it's highly individual. However - I've been diligently working on it every day. Chipping away, connecting the dots, building an e-course to help you get passed all of the noise coming from others, and the static and confusion it creates in your mind. I want to help you to - Learn to listen to yourself. To trust yourself. To express yourself with authenticity.
I'll share more on that in time ;)